Who am I...the answer

This was probably my most profound experience to date, and it seemed to open up something deep inside.  Life will never be the same.

I had attended a shamanism retreat in January, and since that time, I have asking during all of my meditations and before attempting to journey, "who am I?"  It was about a month later, in February, the day before this experience, I was able to journey and felt guide energy, and so I asked this guide directly, "Who am I?  Can you show me?"  He answered "not today." LOL...I was a little stunned, because usually when I as a guide or dream character, I either get a a positive answer or a cryptic one.  I had never been flatly turned down :), so I decided just to accept the answer and move on.

The next day, I asked that question before meditating.  It was only a few minutes before I felt myself being pulled  out of my body.  I felt myself flying upwards.  I just kept going up very fast.  I found myself in a bright white room.  I was looking down at a wizard who looked very much like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings with white long hair and long beard dressed in brilliant white (minus a pointy hat).  I came to him and stood before him and knew this was my moment.  I said "Who am I?"  He replied "Of course you would want to know that, especially after what happened yesterday."  I took yesterday to mean several things....the guide who would not tell me the day before.  Also, the helpless feeling I had the day before coming across a severely injured raccoon and being unable to do anything to help him.  Also, yesterday meaning these past couple of years that I have been spiritually searching and all that has happened during this time.

Anyway, at that point, the wizard turned abruptly and said "let's go.  We've been waiting for you."  At this point he was wearing an old fashioned leather helmet and leather jacket. He took off quickly, and I found myself in a vast bright white 'auto shop' with shiny new cars and motorcycles.  We wove around them and came to another room.  Suddenly, this guide stepped back to watch me as I looked down on this table.  There was 2 little boys standing around the table.  Lying on the table was a little girl with dark skin and dark hair and eyes.  Her body was twisted grotesquely, broken, and I could tell she was 'dying.'  She was looking up at me with big eyes.  I felt this horrible helpless feeling come over me, feeling as if there was nothing I could do.  I decided I had to do 'something', at least provide comfort.  I reached out to her to touch her arm, and suddenly, I felt this guide come up behind me, and I felt the most powerful energy running through me.  There are no suitable words I know of in the English language to describe this, but it included in it so much love.  If I had felt the power of this standing in my physical body, I think it would have knocked me off my feet.  I felt all of this emotion coming through me.  I felt this girl under my hands began to heal and sit up.  I began sobbing and crying "thank you, thank you," because I think I have been given a most wonderful gift, and feeling this girl healing made me so happy.

It was at that point, I was so emotional, I could not maintain my focus any longer.  I had to go into hibernation  after this experience for a while, and since this time, my journeys have been almost daily.  That, in itself is a wonderful gift.